I constantly feel like I'm not good enough. I withdraw and keep making myself small and invisible.
I always do my best to please everyone and yet I never really fit in, which makes me try even harder.
I often go so far beyond my limits that I no longer know what I want and who I am now. At these times, I feel so alone.
It costs me so much energy to constantly worry about what others think of me. Am I doing well enough? Should I be there?
Everyone around me is doing well, so I often feel sad. I’m harsh on myself as well.
Sometimes things get a little better, but then all it takes is something to happen, a casual remark for example, and then I'm back to square one.
Finally at ease with who you are
Do you recognize yourself in the above? There is a good chance that a negative self-image is getting in the way of you and your happiness. It doesn't have to be that way. You too deserve to see that you are just right the way you are, and that you can - if you choose - learn to see this through self-image training. Of course you can also wait 'a while'. Don't whine but carry on as usual. But how happy are you really? How nice would it be if you experienced more peace? When you are finally at ease with who you are - including all your imperfections - and feel that you are seen as someone who matters. If you dare to say what's on your mind and that you don't always feel clumsy and left out when in the company of other people. If you don't always need confirmation from others, but take control yourself. You don't want to be a spectator of your own life, do you?
Towards more confidence
The feeling that you can be there not only gives you confidence in yourself, but also more confidence in the people around you and in your future. You regain control of your life and the desire to make new plans. Self-confidence makes life more fun in every way; you get more energy, and you can enjoy so much more if you look at yourself more positively. In my practice I see women blossom again. That’s what my focus is.
Don't root in the past. Work on the future.
Together we work on improving your self-confidence so that you will not only know that you are okay the way you are, but you can also really feel it that way. We don't do that by rooting in the past. There is no need to know where that old negative self-image comes from. We will work on confidence in yourself and your future. We do this through conversations, practical exercises and photography.
You're probably thinking, 'Why photography? I don't want to look at myself at all!' Scientific research shows that looking at yourself objectively on the basis of photos, and naming positive characteristics about yourself, improves your self-image. Your negative feelings also decrease. That works absolutely differently than when you look in the mirror: there you mainly see the image of yourself that is already anchored in your head. Photos help you to look at yourself in a more loving way.
More at home with yourself
One of my clients put it very nicely: “I am now more at home with myself and therefore more comfortable in other places.” That's what I wish for you too. That you can enjoy yourself again and that you live the life that suits you. That you are no longer a victim of your negative emotions and your negative self-image.
Client comments about Zelfbeeld
Ineke: “I was a bit hesitant beforehand because I never look nice in photos, and I was afraid that I would have to put a lot of work into myself. But the studio space was very nice and Dorien immediately put me at ease. The pictures are very nice and I actually think my wrinkles are cute. I looked a lot better than I thought. The homework, and keeping a positive diary, was a challenge, but by consciously looking for and keeping the positive things, I was soon much more positive in life.”
Monique: “After I recovered from breast cancer, it was no longer possible to look at myself in a positive way. I had completely lost my self-confidence. Fortunately, in the photos Dorien made, I still recognized that strong woman I used to be. By keeping a positive diary, paying attention to what went well, I felt myself getting stronger and I see again what really matters.”
“I constantly feel like I'm not good enough. I've lost confidence in myself. As a result, I don't dare to take new steps and I get really stuck.”
I often hear statements like this from the women I speak with. But I have also experienced this myself. I've also had to learn to love myself for who I am instead of despising myself for what I'm not. It wasn't easy, but in retrospect it was one of the most valuable lessons of my life. One for which I am still very grateful. I give you this too.
In addition to my work as an applied psychologist, I have been a professional photographer for many years. In that role I was always inspired by the 'self-image'. It is wonderful to see how happy and touched someone can be when he or she sees beautiful pictures of themselves. Fortunately, people disclose their true selves to me. That helps me to highlight the beautiful and powerful sides of someone.
A logical step towards applied psychology
When I was looking for a new challenge after 25 years of photography, the step to applied psychology was actually very logical. I think it's such a shame when women have everything in them and don't blossom because they don't believe in themselves - don't dare to trust themselves.
Why photography in self-image training?
Scientific research shows that looking at yourself objectively through photos, and naming positive characteristics about yourself, improves your self-image. It also reduces depressive feelings. You learn to look at yourself in a loving way again. I also experience this in my self-image practice. I see women blossom again. That still moves me.
Client comments about Dorien
Masja: “When we watched that video of me together, I could suddenly make a switch in how I saw myself. It was the first time that I looked at myself lovingly, without a critical look. That was because I went along with Dorien's energy. I don't know how else to say it. I felt how she looked and then I saw it myself. Everything came together. I still think about that moment a lot.”
Corine: “By working with Dorien on my self-image, I have now lost the restlessness of the eternal search for a safe feeling in myself: I can be there as I am. Last week I stood in a fitting room, looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful woman, a gorgeous woman!”
Linda: “I was very nervous to take a picture, but it was not that bad for me. The studio was a very nice place, the cat was sleeping in the sun; Dorien was very relaxed and took all the time. One can see my ease is reflected in my photos.”
Iris: “I no longer have to wonder whether it is good the way I am. That uncertainty disappears. I also dare to show more of myself and give my opinion.”
Martine: “Is that me? Yes, it is. I radiate strength but also softness. I don't know myself that way at all.”
A little more about Dorien
In addition to being an applied psychologist and professional photographer, I am married and the mother of four fledgling children. I love studying people from a terrace, swimming in the sea or in the lake, skiing with friends, and having spontaneous dinners at our kitchen table where all the children sit down.
SEVEN STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
My goal is to help you grow your confidence. Together we take steps to ensure that you stop doubting yourself and pleasing others. We silence that eternal voice that says, ’I am not good enough'. How nice is it when you are relaxed and strong in life again? How nice is it to have a solid foundation from which to make choices that suit you? There is no waiting list, so you can start next week.
The steps we go through consist of one photo session, seven one-hour conversations and homework assignments.
1. Series of photo portraits
With this first tough step you dare to show yourself - in a safe environment.
2. Look and recognize
You learn to look at yourself objectively and to recognize your positive qualities.
3. Positive Diary
You get more attention and appreciation for the beautiful moments in your life. What's right in front of you is sometimes hard to see.
4. Your input
Life often seems like something that happens to you and you have nothing to say about it. In this step you will discover that your input does influence the events in your life.
5. What do you think is important?
You learn to set boundaries and make choices that you feel comfortable with.
6. New behavior
With your new improved self-image comes new behavior. You practice taking steps that you did not dare to take before.
7. Help on the road
You have gathered enough tools to feel more confident now and in the future.
Comments about Zelfbeeld:
Drs. Migalda Sarucco, Psychotherapist: “Dorien is professionally involved with the client and works carefully by giving good explanations. This also gives the client confidence in the self-image process; they feel safe and welcome with Dorien. Even months after completion, Dorien’s clients appear to have benefited greatly from this approach.”
Reimbursement by health insurer
Since 2019, the self-image process is (largely) reimbursed from the supplementary insurance. This falls under psychosocial care. This is therefore not at the expense of your own risk.
Click here for a complete overview of the possible reimbursements.
Entrepreneurs can offset the cost of the self-image process as a business investment. The costs are therefore tax deductible.
Compensation by employer
Almost every employer has a budget available for the development of its staff. They are therefore often prepared to bear the costs of the self-image process. Every employer is happy with an employee who has a firm and self-confident attitude to life.
Client comments about Zelfbeeld
Iris: “The feeling of self-confidence and security is something that I found difficult to experience myself before. I had doubts about everything that made it difficult to make choices or have my own opinion. This process has ensured that I finally got this feeling of self-confidence myself. I can feel and actually believe in it. I now realize that no one is perfect and that imperfections make you the person that others love.”
Anouk: “Dorien has helped me to look at my self-image differently on a business level. As an independent entrepreneur, the business world can be very hard, this often appealed to me personally. Because of the photos that were taken and the way Dorien guided me, I now feel like a 'professional entrepreneur' and I can better separate private and business.”
Curious about how Dorien can help you reach a more positive self-image?
The self-image process consists of one photo session, seven one-hour conversations, and homework assignments.
This can also be paid in instalments.
If you want to opt for a different interpretation than the self-image step-by-step plan, it is also possible to have individual conversations of one hour.
€ 87,- per hour
Dorien van der Meer
You are most welcome to get acquainted without obligation and to ask any questions.
Mail to email@example.com orsend a message to 06-20018894
The photo studio is located in a beautiful canal house in the middle of the Negen Straatjes (Nine Streets) and is easily accessible by car and public transport: tram/bus stop Westermarkt is a few minutes walk from the studio.
The conversations take place in an attractive practice space at 227 Herengracht, also a few minutes walk from the Westermarkt tram stop.